Waiting

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Waiting. What is it that I am waiting for? It seems that I have lived a lifetime of waiting? And for what? What purpose has waiting served me? Even though I do not recall, I’m sure I spent time waiting to be born and now essentially I am waiting to die and everything that comes in between.

As a child, I remember waiting for endless holidays and for monumental events. I waited for Christmas to come, I waited for my birthday, I waited to make friends. I waited to speak to my teacher. I waited my turn in line. I waited for my cat to return home. I waited to be forgiven. I waited for love to come my way. I waited for summer to begin. I waited to grow older. I went to college and waited to graduate. I waited. I waited to have children. I waited to find and do the things that brought passion to me and filled my life with meaning. I waited. Countless days spent waiting. What was the point?

Now as I am marching in time still waiting, I ask myself what is the point? I wait to make monumental decisions because I want to insure that I make the correct the one. I am still waiting for something to happen in my life that will make seeking passion and happiness acceptable instead of reckless and insensible. What is the point? What have I been waiting for? Am I waiting because I seek approval of family, friends, and society to say “You know what, that is great! You should go for it” Am I waiting for fear to seize its hold on me? I can think this waiting game to death and actually I have and then I only end up with the same question I started with? What is the point? What am I waiting for?

In reality there will never be a situation where everything lines up directly with the moon and stars and provides me with a map that will show me the way. As amazing as this would truly be and make my time of waiting seem worthwhile this doesn’t require any courage or faith. If this were possible as they say everyone would do it. It takes courage and faith to do what you feel and what calls to you. Courage to put faith in this overwhelming feeling and take action rather than waiting for some grand sign that may very well not come.

Waiting may serve a purpose. Afterall, the phrase comes to mind of all good things come to those who wait. And there is something to be said about waiting for the day of your child’s birth. It really is the most miraculous moment captured in time. Holding this precious child in my arms that I waited nine months to meet, I was mesmerized. She was beautiful and precious and tiny. I do remember she would give me the strangest looks. It was if she knew some secret that I was not privy too and I wonder if she had some pact with God or He had told her something before she was born that she remembered. Moments like these I will never regret waiting for because in those moments I was alive and engaged to the very depths of my being. Moments like these I will not ever forget for they are seared in my mind, a moment suspended in time that can be recalled at will. These are the grandest moments for they are filled with love and excitement. They are pure and of the very nature of who I am, of who God has intended us to be. They are tender and precious.

For several days the John Mayer song,” Waiting on the World to Change” keeps playing over and over in my head. In many ways this is the way I have approached my life. I have waited on the world to change. I have felt that things are too massive and beyond my control, so I have sat back and waited for the world to change. What purpose has this served? It allowed me a certain amount of comfort and I believe that in my corner of the world I have tried to do things to change the world. And yet I have waited. I have not done all that I can do and all that I am capable of. Instead of waiting for something to happen I have decided to quit waiting. There is no reason that I cannot live with passion today and there is no reason that I cannot do the things that call to me. The only thing that holds me back is me and the fear that speaks to me. I do not need to listen to this fear that tells me to keep waiting. Instead of waiting for the world to change I have decided that I am going to do what I can to change it.

I will seize the day and do what calls to me, whether it is holding my children and listening to them with all the love that is within me or paying for a child’s school supplies, listening to a friend, seeking out more knowledge in my spiritual life so that I am able to impact others in a positive way, being a mentor to a child who is lacking one, helping people who are hungry, doing healing energy work, the list is endless. And what if, just what if instead of focusing on the negative, the focus was put on the positive. How much better would this feel and how much more could the world be impacted. Instead of complaining about the awful service one received, what if instead when you received exemplary service you drew attention to that and thanked the waiter/waitress and you also called the manager over to let them know of the wonderful time you had and in great part it was because of the kind service you received. How would just this act change the world? Isn’t the thought of this exciting and empowering? Wouldn’t these simple acts also bring more of the same to your doorstep? What an adventure this would become? What each day would you find at your doorstep? I believe it would be truly amazing and if I may say, well worth the wait!

Let’s admit it. There is no getting around waiting. Life’s events are made up of waiting. The question is not in the waiting, it is what are you going to do in the process of waiting. Will you sit there and be annoyed at having to wait in traffic? Will you be frustrated with the clerk who has run into a snag because they don’t have the price for an item and therefore everyone in line must wait? Will you want to hurry the child along who stops to tie their shoe on their way out the door to school? Or will you stop yourself and tell yourself, “You know, I have a choice right now in this moment and this moment will determine what I find on my doorstep in the dawning of tomorrow. What do I want to find?” So really in moments of waiting we can make the most of them by truly being in them. To observe what is around. The people. The worry on their faces, the lines of confusion, a stolen moment of compassion, a hand offered in love, simply telling someone that they are great and they mean the world to you. These are unconditional moments of love that are within your power to create. Who will you be? Will you choose to be and realize the gift that is being given to you and make the most of it? You have the power to turn the ordinary into the extraordinary. Fantastic! Isn’t this truly uplifting. This greatness lies with you and you are in control of what you will do with your waiting. Quite liberating!

Take action. In those moments when you have no choice but to wait, choose to truly be and turn them into something extraordinary. At the other times, when you have something that calls to you take action, for only in your taking action can your part of the world be impacted. When you do this then the world can truly begin to change. It starts with you and me. Today I choose the extraordinary and so the adventure begins. The only thing I will be waiting for is to see what gifts I find on my doorstep because of the action I took today in turning the ordinary into the extraordinary. Fantastic!

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2 Responses to Waiting

  1. Heather says:

    How rewarding it will be to be living rather than waiting! To be having the experience rather than wanting the experience. A shift of perspective and mind set can breathe new life into the soul! I am so grateful to be able to witness your beautiful transformation. With your commitment to honor the woman in the mirror you have already set your feet on this chosen path. That is honoring thyself.

    • debbiej1111 says:

      Thank you for the perspective that you lend to my life. If you were not a part of my life I know that I would be very sad indeed. You are a rare jewel that provides a sustenance of life to everyone you encounter.

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